My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
