You smell like stripper and shame
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
