He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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