In America we eat man semen.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
