alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
