so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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