you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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