I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You made out with two different species that night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
