I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
