OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
