Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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