Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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