if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
