Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
