do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
