Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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