She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
