Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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