me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
