I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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