We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
