Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
