i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
