Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We have so much sex to catch up on
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
