she woke up with a sticky ear
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
