Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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