this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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