Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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