the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
