im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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