I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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