I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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