He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sober January is a disaster.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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