using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
