Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
