it hurts more in the daytime
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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