Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize