I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
