I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
