We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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