Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They took my balls.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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