look no pants
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
