Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
