so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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