you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
