So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
