I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is it because I queefed?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
