Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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