There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
