I heard we made out
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
