On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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