Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
