DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
