Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
