i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
