I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
