Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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