Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
