u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Plan B is the new Plan A
there's paper in my vomit.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
