You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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