You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
