also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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