what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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