it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
