dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
