Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
