Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So here I am, sexting at work.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
